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May brings Mother's day closer
by stevenew,posted Apr 29 2011 3:38PM
It comes around quick Sunday May 8th is Mothers day. Itâ€™s right around the corner: that special day once a year when we celebrate moms. And if youâ€™re scrambling for some last-minute gift ideas, or just holding out hope that your husband actually remembers this year, consider this: Perhaps the best gift youâ€™ll receive this year isnâ€™t going to come in a package, and it may just come from the person you least expectâ€”yourself. Â Flowers, cards, and breakfast in bed are great, but at the end of the day, what mothers really want is to feel a real, deep, and lasting emotional bond with their kids, right. This Website can help you, www.TheGoToMom.com. Â Itâ€™s all about the concept of having a deep, emotional connection with your kids and while that may seem like a daunting task especially for teens, itâ€™s not only possible for moms to make that crucial connection with their kids; itâ€™s actually not as complicated as you may think. â€śThere are simple changes that any parent can make that will work wonders for creating the bond with her child that she desires. And once those small changes become habits, they will come naturally to her, all the time.â€ťThe Website talks about seven simple ways that you can work toward building a deep, emotional bond with your kids, so that every day can feel like Motherâ€™s Day. From playtime to down time. For young kids, Make time for playtime. Not only does play release energy and provide opportunities to be involved in a childâ€™s world, Plug inâ€¦emotionally. Children can experience a wide range of emotions each day (or even each hour, for that matter!); from happy to sad, frustrated to triumphantâ€”what may seem to us a trivial moment can be a big deal for them. Make the effort to â€śplug inâ€ť to what their children are feeling and that understanding what they are feeling and why can create a bond between you that is unparalleled. It takes patience, time, and, at times, a lot of effort, but the bond you build is totally worth it.â€ť Build in a few extra minutes to your day. Whether you are rushing out the door for school in the morning, loading up for big brotherâ€™s baseball practice, or just heading out to run errands with kids in tow, building in a few minutes can make transitions much less painful for both you and your children and can provide crucial opportunities for bonding. â€śIf you can make it into the car without a screaming fight, then you have a great opportunity to spend those extra 10 or 15 minutes really talking with your kids. Fess up when you slip up. Nobodyâ€™s perfectâ€”and as parents itâ€™s a given that we will make mistakes as we learn and grow alongside of our kids. Your child learns that emotions are manageable, and he will feel comfortable expressing them in an appropriate manner. And that includes admitting when youâ€™re wrong and saying that youâ€™re sorry. Let your kids be themselves. Loving your childrenâ€™s individuality isnâ€™t hardâ€”you appreciate and adore the quirks and habits that make them who they are. When it comes to kids, parenting and discipline are not a one-size-fits-all bargain. You have to respect your children for whom they areâ€”and that includes honoring the ways they are different from one another and different from you. If you are a social butterfly with a son who is painfully shy, you have to respect that in him and not try to force your own behaviors and habits on him. Replace your anger with empathy. Make no mistake; kids can test the tempers of even the most mild-mannered mothers. When tantrums take over and tempers flare, it can be a constant challenge to keep your cool. Pick your battles and know that nothing is so important that it warrants extreme anger and coerciveness with your child. If you need to, walk away and take a deep breath, then return to your child to start over. And if you do lash out, donâ€™t avoid the issue or act as if it never happenedâ€”this only teaches children to deny their own poor behavior.
Take time for yourself on a regular basis. On special holidays like Motherâ€™s Day, moms will often be treated to breakfast in bed, a day at the spa, or maybe even a little â€śfreeâ€ť time to do something for themselves. However, most mothers get caught up in the hectic schedule of everyday life and neglect to take time out for themselves on a regular basis, It doesnâ€™t always have to be a big eventâ€”tacking on 30 extra minutes to an errand to grab a latte or flip through magazines at the bookstore can work wonders for restoring your sanity and recharging your batteries.
MoreThe Go-To Momâ€™s Parentsâ€™ Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children (Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, 2010, ISBN: 978-0-470-58497-2, $16.95, www.TheGoToMom.com) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.